The Seven Stages Of A Resignation Letter (Part 1)

Greetings and salutations….

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Anyway…

im-going-let-you-think-about-one-minute-sip

Lets get this tea going…

There comes a time in agency (or wherever less interesting place you work) that you get to a point where you’re like…

charlo

Either way, the process is…

image

For some of you, typing your resignation letter due to some form of emotional attachment (LOL) will be like…

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To which you need to get your shit together!

However, most of you will be more than happy to sit behind that keyboard and type out a Grade A Sodom & Gomorrah fire and brimstone letter like….

jimcarreytyping

Which will probably end with a pretty package of your heartfelt sentiment…

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Either way…these are the seven stages of a resignation letter that you are very likely to encounter…

STAGE 1: SHOCK AND DENIAL

Ain’t nobody expected your sneaky ass to get up and go.

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Yeah bruh… I’m out! Miss me!

I mean you were huko sneaking around, going for interviews like…

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Or alternatively, making yourself available in the market for poaching like…

ntwbdri

Hawa wananiona kweli?

Just know deep down inside you are a ka-blind sider… no different from this cat …

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Gotchu bitch!

That being said, these are the most common reactions once you hand in that resignation…

Your bosses…

thafcat

Or some dramatic shit happening to your letter…

2001

Your colleagues…

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*(Especially after just last week you loosely made a Kijubilee-ishly “Tuko Pamoja” remark…

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Yeah bro, they secretly think your middle name is Iscariot

Anyway, soon after the shock, at some level, your boss will deny the reality of the loss in order to avoid worry and many questions from your clients and your boss’ bosses

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Especially if you were this guy/girl…

heavyloadeddonkkkks

Le Donkey

And your clients are always like…

demi-lovato-omg-i-love-you

It will be the most confusing thing for you especially if your boss/organization, half the time made you feel like or told you…

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But my nigga….you’re about to learn that…

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Word to the wise though, as you hand in that resignation, beware of the line… “I don’t accept this!”

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Horera priss!

And practice in the mirror for when you will say…

148dlld

 

STAGE 2: GUILT & PAIN

This is the stage I like to call…

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As the shock wears off, it is replaced with…

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Don’t forget these…

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First class tickets to a guilt trip!

Some of the hits on that Guilt trip playlist will be:

  • “You know we invested a lot in you” Greatest Hits Album
  • “Remember the time we helped do…” Deluxe Album
  • “Do you think you gave us your best” and other hits

And depending on your personality you may either be like…

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What am I doing? I am the devils spawn aki…

But kama chills ni za malaria na fridge peke yake, you’ll be like…

hilarious-reaction-gifs-snooki-pregnant

So then, you need to watch out for the most common reactions.

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PS – The reactions in this stage may not be as mild as the Stage 1 reactions due to a severe case of what we scientifically call catchingus feelinfluenza)

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Your bosses reaction…

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Your colleagues…

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Ríu mwathani nú úkúruta wíra wa ngoma íno -Trans- Aki Jehova sasa nani atafanya kazi ya huyu shetani!

In conclusion to this stage, most of the general mawakaz and your boss will be…

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 STAGE 3: ANGER AND BARGAINING

In this stage, just as a precautionary measure, you need to keep your mouth shut especially about where you are transitioning to.

rhwymg

Don’t say shit my nigga

Why?

Because as kids some of your colleagues childhood ambitions were as such…

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And it will get worse if your boss is also a ka vindictive-you’re not abandoning ship you bitch- kinda person…because trust me…their office will turn into a call center to your new workplace.

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“Yeah hello? I just wanted to let you know you are hiring the biggest tumbili in my agency. Afadhali angezaliwa mwiko he would be of some use then”

Bruh…I dunno…

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Then will come the bargaining.

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Here, you will get to find out that ka story you were told at your appraisal that went like “The company is not making enough money to give you a raise” was…

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Because suddenly there will be hand gestures such as this…

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And at this point if you are not committed to your resignation you will be like…

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And sometimes it’s not a bad thing if you go in this direction.

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It’s just bad if hatutalala because your instagram posts look like this…

walter-white-money

But tutapona…

croixhxwuaaz5ed

Go forth and prosper na usisahau kurushia watu drinks…

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But sadly brethren…this is most likely how your boss will feel like inside when you don’t stay committed to the cause…

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But tunakemea hio shetani all the same…

amen

 

STAGE 4: DEPRESSION

This is the stage HR takes over…rather the problem is passed on to them…

If they were not anticipating any moves, they will be like…

raila130115

Sasa hapa kutaendaje? Aki nimeintercept tu ka CV ya ng’ombe fulani iliapply kuwa mortuary attendant. 

But riure, lets just leave it at that for today…

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3 thoughts on “The Seven Stages Of A Resignation Letter (Part 1)

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