Types Of Bosses & How To Manage Them

“Good leaders don’t create faithful followers to retrieve whatever is required: But create other leaders” – B2

My agency experience has exposed me to many types of bosses…some sent by the good Lord above and others…well others are just Satan’s spawn…

This is dedicated to your boss…whichever personality they are…

 

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The Micro Manager

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For lack of a better term, they are the proverbial Control freaks. Can’t trust you to do a simple thing such as stapling your makaratasi without supervision or licking your finger to flip a page. You will soon be accustomed to feeling their breath on the nape of your neck….and not in a romantic way with some Celine Dion music in the background. Your deepest sentiment to them will be…

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Stop being a pest!

How To Manage The Micro Manager

Much as its tempting…don’t go in this direction…

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However…Information is power…give them constant updates like a radio station giving warning about a category 5 storm…channel your inner Ngwata Francis!

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Sucks but its better than feeling their breath on your neck.

 

The Bus Driver aka Dere Wa Mathree 

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Undertook and passed their BCE classes in driving school and has neither friends nor loyalties. They will make “under the bus” a common hang out zone for you and your colleagues. They at first seem like team players till one of your meetings turns in to the Annual Throwing Under The Bus Convention. You cant trust them for shit!

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How To Manage The Bus Driver aka Dere Wa Mathree

First of all pray fervently, persistently and consistently…

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“Please God let that bitch not have any gas in her bus today…and tomorrow please break her axle…amen”

Also,

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Anticipate their bullshit! Two steps ahead always!

 

King Joffrey

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“All hail His Grace, Joffrey of Houses Baratheon and Lannister, First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm.”

The evil ruler of your office…and unfortunately for you…you are one of the subjects! This is the biggest asshole you have met or ever will meet. They also come packing the biggest superiority complex you will ever come across, constantly letting you know…

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How To Manage King Joffrey

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Also, avoid getting on their bad side like…

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Swaaaay! Swaaay!

And if at all you are unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of their verbal blows…

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Play dead my nigga…Play dead!

 

Pablo Emilio Escobar Gaviria

The single most authoritative thing you will ever meet on your career path, running the office like they would run a criminal gang; with stout commands and aggression. It’s either their way or the highway like..

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How To Manage Pablo Emilio Escobar Gaviria

You could be a bunch of experts who know more than this saitan…but…

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“Stay humble stay low blow like Hootie” – Mase

Or if you’re all about the liberty movement…

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But if you are a member of the rights movement you have to remember that there will be one of two outcomes…

  1. If you are lucky they will…

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2. If not then, your career in that organization will be ended in true Escobar style like…

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Daenerys Stormborn

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Mother of dragons will create the fiercest and best employees in your industry. You will go through hell and back and survive the fire and storms because they are ride or die. This will be the coolest boss you will ever meet and they will nurture your talent and help you grow and go places.

How To Manage Daenerys Stormborn

 

Bat for them at whatever cost because…

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And…

learn

Learn from them as much as you can!

 

The Pacesetter

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Also known as the mutherfucking cool kid! They will be one of the smartest human beings you will ever meet. Also very charismatic…winner of client hearts etc. They also be your biggest challenge and your greatest teacher! Either you are skilled and smart or…

youre-fired

How To Manage The Pacesetter

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All day nigga!

 

The Witch Of Salem

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Just like the stories go…this one will fool the hell out of all you…they will come disguised as Daenerys and the Pacesetter  but alas…right under their desk is their supercharged V8 broomstick that delivers 435 horsepower and 400 lb-ft of torque to the tip of its bristles!

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Odometer on that broomstick be doing the most!

 

They thrive on chaos and division in the office making you and your colleagues turn against each other. She is also a very close relative to the bus driver…

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Rare sighting of one such boss

How To Manage The Witch Of Salem

Firstly….write to the Vatican and commission an exorcism…

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Form a union…

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You will be surprised when you get together as a group just to find out what The witch of Salem has been up to…

And finally…take what they say with a pinch of salt…like…

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Special shout out to one of my main contributor B2!

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I love you baby!

And special shout out to all the cool bosses I ever came across..

G.L, L.K, B2, N.W, N.M, C.K, and last but not least T.P!

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